"It was already a weird Friday. My class is stuck on an eerily remote island for our senior trip, I'm pretty sure Mr. D ("call me Max") is hiding something from us, my ex-best friend turned nemesis keeps stealing my candy, and tonight's plan for my boyfriend and me to finally lose our virginity to each other is going hellishly. I mean, ceviche is delicious, don't get me wrong. But a dish made from a supposedly immortal octopus should really come with a warning label"--
